December 21, 2002 at 10:30 AM
Dear Santa,
This year I've been a good girl, and don't ask for much. Especially this christmas. But I have a dilemma. I don't know what my heart is telling me anymore- it's like my brain and heart are saying two different things and I'm not sure who to listen to. On my stocking at work, I had asked you to get Andrew to miss me. And while that seems great, it seems more impossible every day.
And I thought I was over him. But obviously that's not the case, now is it? I think my biggest mistake was going to the high school music concert last night. Talking to him for like all of 5 seconds. He gave me one of those sideways-hugs that mean absolutely nothing [but everything to me] and when he walked away, his eyes were all sparkley. I'd like to think they were all teary but it was just my imagination I guess. The other mistake I have is thinking. Thinking about crap that I can't fix. Like "if I had not have done this... he never would've broken up with me" and reading my yearbook in which he signed 3 full pages. I dont wanna think about him anymore if he's never gonna come back.
I'm reading your note over again
There's not a word that I comprehend,
Except when you signed it
"I will love you always and forever."
[dashboard]
Gawd Santa, I am so emo.
I hope you have a nice time delivering lots of presents. Your cookies and milk will be waiting, like always.
Love,
Kerri.